Violence

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“Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies.”

Discuss the view and give your opinion. 

      We live in a society which is prone to show violence for several reasons. Violence is on the roads, in the family and now in playgrounds. I will analyse the different reasons for the rise of violence and try to find what should parents do against violence between children.  

      Several reasons affect child’s attitude towards other people as a family member, a teacher or a friend. Before, family was the main influence on child’s development. But in this day and age television has taken this big role from parents. Parents rather opt for putting their child in front of the telly while they are busy with their chores, so there is a lack of control on children. If parents do not limit the programmes on TV for their child then this child is likely to watch programmes which are not suitable for their age and which haveoffensive language and subjects, basically violence. There is a prevalence of wars and shooting in the programmes even if good and bad sides exist. Moreover there is a huge toy market for the characters from these movies. Parents think that if they buy these toys they will be caring parents which is utterly wrong from my point of view. I strongly believe that today 2 to 4 age groups of boys who are playing with toys which are imaginary characters are more prone to continue fighting, as they call it a game, in the playgrounds. But the point is, this game generally turns into a fight. If it happens at school, teacher’s observation and attitude towards children is crucial. Although it is not enough, since there must be cooperation between the teacher and families. 

      Sometimes parents are in quandary as to whether to stop fighting and bullying by other children or to leave them alone thinking that they will become strong and moreindependent. I think this restraint does not help a child’s personal development. If a child is bullying others it will make the child more aggressive, uncontrollable and they maybe excluded. On the other side, the one who has been bullying might stop coming to school which could be a problem for the school as truancy in the future. It is possible to see the child showing violence to siblings at home. 

      Parents should find different activities for their children to make them social. In this way children will focus on another thing and spend their energy in a different way. Being in contact with teacher is always going to help in monitoring their children more easily. If they need professional help they should never hesitate to visit a psychologist with their children. 

      In conclusion it is certain that families should never let their children be passive against any bullying but it is not right to show the same attitude in reverse. Children are always easy to educate and orient. Therefore common work between teachers and parents, also doctors if necessary, would be enough to solve the problem.

Bài 2:

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies.

Discuss this view and give your opinion.

In today’s world the number of crimes in playgrounds is increasing. There is a question, should parents allow their children to defend themselves from hooligans or do not rebuff them. Pluses and minuses of these approaches should be presented.
In the modern democratic community many people believe that people should resolve all their conflicts peacefully, avoiding physical contact. Behaving in this way gives a lot of benefits. Firstly, nobody will be injured or attacked by the opposite force. Secondly, there will not be any reason to be punished by the police. Finally, if there are any people around you, they can stop the conflict after some minutes. Anyway, person, resisting aggressive actions without using physical power, demonstrates his strong character and diplomatic skills. Strong character depends on the person’s internal strength but not on his physical strength or endurance.
However, there are some situations when people need to fight to defend their life, family or honor. Skills of self-defense can be useful in these cases. For example, if bullies are trying to take your money in the dark street and nobody can see it, it is better to hit them back or run away from that place because nothing can prevent them from killing you. Therefore, you should be able to defend yourself and, moreover, have knowledge of human psychology. Nobody can protect your mind from pressure but you can do it if you really want. It is very important if you can understand the internal state of your opponent.
To conclude, I want to draw my own conclusion for this issue. I strongly recommend parents not only teach there children how to solve their problems in a peaceful way but also send them in a sport section. A person who is able to be heard by others, who is ready for physical resistance, and who knows the inner world of people will be more successful in the changing world!

Baif3: 

What can we do to help our child if he bullies others? Although we don't like to think that our child could be a bully, we must face reality if it happens. Here are some suggestions for parents and caregivers responsible for a child who is bullying others. Make sure your child isn't witnessing violence between members of your family. Modeling aggressive behavior at home can lead to violence by the child against others at school and later on in life. Talk to your child, his teachers and school administrators. Children who bully try to deny or minimize their wrongdoings. Cooperate with the school to help change your child's aggressive behavior. Talk frequently with teachers and administrators to find out how he's doing in changing his behavior. Make it clear that bullying will not be tolerated. Tell your child you will not allow such actions, and state the consequences. If the problem occurs at school, tell him that you respect the school's right to punish him if it persists. Have your child walk in the victim's shoes. Discuss how it feels to be bullied. How would he feel if it happened to him? Increase your supervision of your child's activities and whereabouts. Find out who he's associating with. Spend time with him and set reasonable rules for and limits on activities. Praise (lots of it!) the efforts your child makes toward becoming non-violent and responsible. If your child is bullying others, it is important to seek help for him as soon as possible. Without intervention, bullying can lead to serious academic, social, emotional, and legal problems for the bully as well as for the victim. Talk to your child's principal and teachers, school counselor, and pediatrician or family physician. If the bullying continues, have your child evaluated by a children's psychiatrist or other mental health professional Such an evaluation can help you and your child understand what's behind the bullying and develop a plan to stop it. - See more at:...

Bài 4:

Parents Helping To Stop Bullying and 
School Violence
 

Childhood should be a time filled with wonder and joy, but the reality for many kids and teens is often much different. They're the victims of bullying at school or on neighborhood playgrounds.

Please visit our sister site www.stompoutbullying.org to learn more!

Kids who are intimidated, threatened, or harmed by bullies often experience low self-esteem and depression, whereas those doing the bullying may go on to engage in more serious antisocial behaviors. Some kids are so traumatized by being bullied, that they contemplate suicide. Bullies often have been the victims of bullying or other mistreatment themselves. 

Despite installing metal detectors and surveillance cameras in schools, many students are still fearful of violence because schools are not addressing bullying as a serious issue.

Bullying has become more prevalent than ever and students are scared!

Security measures to combat gun violence have done little to stop the school bully. The reports found that 9 percent of students said they were threatened or injured with a weapon in 2001, a slight increase from two years ago. The report further showed a 3 percent increase in the number of students who reported being bullied.

Bullying is commonly accepted as part of the school tradition. Schools and parents must work together to end this painful and at times fatal tradition.

bài 5: 

Children and Bullying: 
A Guide for Parents

Is There Anything We Can Do About Bullying?

Although bullying is not a normal part of childhood, it's a serious and common problem that can drastically affect the ability of children - bullies and their victims alike - to progress academically, emotionally and socially. This publication explains what bullying is, discusses the interaction of bullies and their victims, and suggests how to respond to and curtail bullying.

Bullying is a common occurrence during childhood. It is most frequently seen in school, but it also occurs in the home, at clubs, and during sports activities. As many as half of all children are bullied at some time during their school years, and 10% are bullied on a regular basis. Boys are more commonly involved in bullying than girls--both as bully and victim. Some children learn well how to control and manipulate others and begin to enjoy doing so. These actions may set a pattern for how children will behave as adults. Children who are bullied suffer emotionally or physically and usually do so in silence for fear that the bullies will get back at them. 

Boys tend to use physical intimidation and threats regardless of the gender of their victims. Girls often target other girls and are likely to use such indirect strategies as spreading rumors. While victims tend to be upset about the incident, bullies are matter-of-fact, stating that "the kid was asking for it" or "it didn't really hurt."

Who are the children who bully others?

Children who bully typically have a need to feel powerful and in control. They get enjoyment from hurting others and making them suffer. They have little compassion for those they bully, and often defend their actions by saying that their victims "made" them act as they did. 

Bullies often (but not always) come from homes where physical punishment is used, children are taught to fight back physically, and parental involvement and warmth are missing. They may come from homes where there are family financial and other problems. These children may be depressed or angry or upset about events at school or home. Bullying may also be modeled by other children; children often repeat the behaviors they witness. 

Children who bully appear to have little anxiety and a strong self-esteem. They work through fear and manipulation, intimidating others by threatening to harm them, calling them names if the victim tells anybody what is occurring.

Which children are likely to be bullied?

Bullies tend to pick on those who are quiet and sensitive or stand out in some way (they're taller or shorter, they wear braces, they're overweight or have a disability). Bullied children often have a hard time defending themselves because they're not confident in their physical abilities and strength. Children who are irritating and annoying and who seek negative attention from their peers also tend to get picked on. 

Children who are bullied usually have few friends to help defend them in a bullying situation. (The friends they do have may be afraid to step in for fear of being targeted as well.) They tend to be close to their parents, who may be overprotective. A child who is bullied is often ashamed or afraid to tell an adult about the bullying. Many bullied children think that adults will not help them and that telling on the bully will only bring more harm.

Bullying in preschool

Bullying behavior can be seen as early as preschool. Preschool-age children may bully others to get attention, show off, or get what they want (toys, clothing, playground equipment). They might be jealous of the children they are bullying. They may also be getting bullied themselves. When preschoolers begin to call people names or use unkind words, intervene immediately and consistently to teach acceptable behavior.

Bullying in elementary/infants/junior school

Younger children are bullied more often than older children. University of Michigan researchers found that 8-year-old children who had been identified as bullies in their schools were often bullies for the rest of their lives

Children usually bully because they are being bullied or want to show off. They may also bully because they're angry or upset or bored. 

In kindergarten, children learn the power of exclusion. It may be common to hear things like, "She's not my friend and can't come to my birthday party." Adults might respond, "You don't have to be her friend right now, but it is not okay to hurt her feelings by telling her she can't come to your party." In early elementary grades, cliques may contribute to cruel behavior, and children may be cruel to one another. Children need to hear such things as, "It's not okay for you to treat others that way."

Bullying in adolescence

Many teens tease their peers to go along with the crowd but feel uncomfortable doing so. Those who report bullying others often state that they are themselves bullied. In the U.S., approximately 1.6 million children in grades 6 through 10 are bullied at least once a week. When made fun of, rejected or bullied, some teens turn to violence

In early adolescence, especially in the sixth grade, when students are trying to fit in with others, there's an increase in teasing and bullying. Once peer groups have formed, many bullying behaviors go away. Bullying is most frequent and most severe in middle school, and declines in high school. Youth who bully are typically popular up to the ages of 14 or 15; however, when such bullies reach their late teens, their popularity typically declines.

I'd like to interject here, if I may, because this last statement does seem to pick up on some of my own observations, in that, bullying almost seems self perpetuating for some children. Youths who bully openly, would, you might think, be shunned by the other children, but this doesn't seem to be the case. Children are drawn to bullies, perhaps in the hope that they won't become a target, or for protection from another bully, or to increase their own position in the 'pecking order' of the playground. The bully, sees this behaviour as an endorsement, and can often be seen to turn on many of these 'soldiers' in a playful way that keeps them in line and reinforces his/her position as head of the pack. Phil.

What are the consequences of bullying?

Being bullied can have such serious short-term effects as depression, withdrawal from friends and family and declining school performance, including not wanting to go to school at all. Long-term effects may interfere with children's social, academic, and emotional development. In extreme cases, victims may be so upset that they are suicidal. The sooner the bullying is stopped, the better the long-term outcome for those who are bullied. 

Children who bully tend to become aggressive adults who stand a much higher chance than non-bullies of racking up multiple criminal convictions. 

Bullying may cause anxiety in bystanders. Children who observe violent behavior and see that the bully is not punished will be more likely to use aggression in the future.

What can parents do to help bully-proof their children?

Encourage friendships. Children who don't have friends tend to be vulnerable to bullies. Start early in helping your child build social skills and make friendships.

Teach your children to express themselves clearly yet tactfully. Help your child use "I statements" (e.g., "I am upset because I feel that you are picking on me"). Such "I statements" explain how people feel. When children know how to express themselves without offending others, they tend to be popular with their peers, and that will keep bullies away.

Teach self-respect. A confident child is not likely to become the victim of a bully.


Stress the importance of body language. Teach your child to be assertive by relaxing his body (deep breathing helps), keeping his hands steady, and using frequent eye contact. These tricks will help children seem self-assured even when they are not.

Start teaching the art of negotiation early. The preschool years are the best time to begin teaching children to settle their own disputes and solve problems. For example, when your child is fighting over a toy with another child, let them discuss how they can share the toy; let them talk about what can be done to solve the problem.

What are some helpful strategies for talking with a child who has been bullied?

Help your child be self-confident. Help your child practice what to say to the bullies so he or she will be prepared the next time. Teach her to tell bullies that their actions won't be tolerated. However, some bullies feed on responses, so your child should assert himself just once. If it doesn't work, tell your child to do something else so that the bullying doesn't escalate.

Don't encourage your child to fight the bully.

Tell your child it is not her fault and that she did the right thing by telling you.

Ask your child what she thinks should be done. What has she tried? What worked and what didn't? Make it clear that she should never be ashamed to ask for help. Encourage your child to report the bullying to her teachers, guidance counselors, or other responsible adults.

Teach your child to avoid situations when necessary. Tell him to avoid the bullies by taking different routes to and from school. Since it may only delay the bullying attempts, this approach should not be looked at as a long-term solution. Instead, it should be looked at in terms of safety--a way to avoid immediate harm.

If your child becomes withdrawn, depressed, or reluctant to go to school, or if you see a decline in performance, consultation with or intervention by a school counselor or guidance office, for example, may be needed. A child and adolescent psychiatrist or other mental health professional can help you, your child, other family members and school officials develop a plan to deal with the bullying. Seeking professional assistance early can lessen the risk of lasting emotional scars for your child.

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