WHAT A FEELING

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"Everything all happens for a reason"

And now, I met her again. After 3 years of breaking up. It was ridiculous. We talked to each other like friends. Normal friends. Her eyes no longer had a flicker of hatred but a sorrow. Especially, today she got red lips, things that I like

Taylor, you know, since you were away, there is nothing left in me

I know. Taylor. I know

My Taylor was still beautiful. She made my day. After greeting each other, she came back to her squad.

" She is always outstanding"

I talked to myself every time I saw her in every nook or cranny in NYC. I always spent time in NYC more than anywhere else just want to see you because I knew you would never come back to England, ever. Just because I was in England, right?
You seemed happy after our breakup, right? I just saw you in the crowd,wandering, thinking about something I couldn't find out what it was. At that moment, I just wanted to run to you, give you a tight embrace, kiss you on the cheek that I used to do but it's just so hard.

Maybe I forgot that we used to be together. Past is past. It will never change.

Maybe you need a perfect guy, a better guy than me, this idiot

You were dancing with a strange guy. Taylor, did you know that you looked so stunning in that dress? And your eyes, the way you looked at him... the feeling of love.

You might ask me why I knew?

Just because you used to look at me in that way

I still remember how we used to be together. Do you remember it, Taylor, in my hand, where the scar will never be healed after our ice-skating? These memories are coming back in my head. If these memories serves my right, you kissed me hard in front of Big Ben Clock in the beginning of New Year's Eve. I 'all never forget how your eyes shone at that time. It felt like

Heaven

I admit that I was wrong.
Completely wrong. It's a big mistake if youth. I know that I shouldn't have made you disappointed. Every night , my mind repeated interruptedly only one question: " If only"

Yeah, if only I loved you hard enough

Oh Taylor, what is that guy whispering in your ear that is making you laugh?

I felt jealous. Now I've known the feeling of jealousy. I've known your feeling at that time now. I was absolutely wrong

I love your laughter. It felt like melodies. I remember the first time we dated. You were wearing a t- shirt of Forever21 and accidentally its color was the same as mine. We got along so well and the next date was on that coming week. So hilarious! My friends often asked me where I found you just because you're so cute and funny. You remember my friend, Niall? He said if we broke up, he would flirt you! But when this happened, he just said to me " you and her are too different "

Oh my Taylor, do you remember when we were in Rhode Island? Of course you remember because it's where we said goodbye! I have always been reproaching with myself why I let you go so easily. I remember your blue eyes were full of tears, and with a sad smile, you left the mansion. I've got stuck since that time. I always want our relationship to work again. I don't want this to be stuck at all. Never.

But where will this relationship come back from?

I was always staring at the moon, seeing a shooting star, thinking about you, about this relationship. You were on the other side, just like the sky splits in two. I used to see stars from England. But now now, we are at the same place, under the sky full of stars.

Taylor, do you see them too?

Taylor, you remember the time we were in the car, wandering around New York City like idiots? Of course you remember because it's the moment we made our first kiss.

And you said that you were mine

And I am still wandering on every streets, following every neon lights just to get the image of you somewhere

Forever

Our hearts are like firestone. Firestone. Firestone.

You're alone now. I see you sitting in the corner. Very close to me. But I felt like it's million miles between us.

How many nights does it take you to count the stars?

It's the same with how many nights does it take me to get you out of my mind?

I couldn't stand anymore

This is maybe the craziest thing I have ever done in this meaningless life.

"Taylor, would you mind dancing with this idiot?"

She turned back. It was a good sign.
She seemed hesitant. Don't be like that Taylor!
I felt the feeling of surprise appearing in her eyes.

" Just a few minutes" I was losing my confidence
" Ok "
She smiled reluctantly but I didn't mind. Just dancing with her
I held her hand tight. We were heading for the hall.
" You looked beautiful"
" Thank you"
She seemed so fake. It made me sad but that was ok. Providing that I was with her.

When we were on the hall together, with the music behind, I looked into her eyes, this time, these eyes brought a long the blue of emptiness. She was about to sob. I didn't know what to do. Still looking into her eyes, the thing I used to be sunk in. The color I love.
I didn't think these eyes haunted me so hard.
" How are you?"
I asked her with the softest voice
" I'm so so, what about you ?"
" I'm so so"

The silence was all around us again

" Taylor, do you know who are you like?"
With a little bit surprise, she didn't answer. Maybe she din't know the answer. Of course not because it's just appeared in my head

" You're like  H.O.L.Y "

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