Exercise 1: Strengthen your internal resources.

For this exercise, think about something you're struggling with and how it makes you feel. Then imagine a friend coming to you with that same problem and how you'd respond to them. Doing this can highlight the chasm between the kindness we give to the people in our lives and the kindness ( or lack of ) that we show ourselves. You'll probably find a significant difference in how you'd treat your friend-most likely with patience, generosity, and forgiveness- versus how you'd react to yourself- perhaps with blame, harshness, and self-criticism. High-achieving people like Dr.Zaki's students, he says, often struggle to do this exercise.

What does this have to do with empathy? " Empathy has to start at home," points Dr.Zaki. " you can't just give of yourself emotionally until there's nothing left. " By building self-compassion, we are increasing our capacity for empathy. 

 Exercise 2: Feeling spent? Spend kindness on others.

At some point in your day, especially when you're stressed or feel like you don't have any spare bandwidth, spend in some small way- whether it's in time, energy or money - on someone in your life. Send a text message of support to someone who's having a hard time. When you're running errands, pick up your partner's favorite coffee. Carry an older neighbor's groceries upstairs. "Building empathy isn't necessarily about donating half of your salary to charity. It's about the little things that we do each day," says Dr.Zaki. " It's about habits of mind."

In an attempt to conserve energy for ourselves, we tend to turn inwards when under pressure. While it may seem counterintuitive, Dr.Zaki has been that performing these tiny acts- especially at moments when we feel like we can't - can be energizing and enlivening. "Students are happily surprised to find that when they give to others, they don't end up depleting themselves," he says. " Happiness and well-being are not a zero-sum situation."