A week later, Josh went down his stairs and realized something extremely important.

The air around him was cool enough to be felt in his bones, smelling a little bit like peppermint and gingerbread cookies. Over at the fireplace, there were up to six huge socks, each with the name of the Dun family members, and each was in a different color. And the tree was set up over at one corner of the living room, bundled up in decorations, sprinkled with glitter and hung with ball ornaments. And on all four walls, were countless of pretty little fairy lights, even though they were indeed a bit too extra.

Oh yes, - Spooky Jim, who stood next to the pine tree and played with the ornaments. - It's Christmas, Jesus' birthday, the day that everyone in this goddamn world gather around and act all cheerful and sing and open presents like there's no tomorrow. It rolled its eyes and shook its head in disappointment.

"Cheer up, you judgemental piece of shit," Josh said, hands playing with the sock that had his name, hanging by the top of the fireplace. "It's my favorite holiday, lemme have fun."

Spooky Jim shook its head once again, following Josh into the kitchen, where his mom was squatting down in front of the oven, watching the gingerbread turning a pretty golden brown. She didn't seem to notice the appearance of her eldest son, but concentrated only on the oven.

"Hi mom," Josh said.

His mom turned around, and smiled brightly when she saw him. She stood up, walked over and pinched his cheeks cutely. "My son's finally up? Oh right, there's no way that you're missing out on this day." Josh grinned sheepishly, pulling a chair from the dinner table and sat down. "Your father and siblings just got outside, they thought that sharing some pudding for the neighbors this year was a good idea. And I thought, it's not half bad. I mean, it's not like we always finish all those pudding? Besides, your brother and sisters are always fighting for the meat instead."

"I like apple pie," Josh said, out of nowhere.

"I know, Joshie," His mom replied, placing down in front of him a plate of bread, eggs and hot bacon. "I made you a little apple pie every year." Then sitting down in the chair opposite to Josh, she continued. "But we're not celebrating Christmas alone this year."

"For real?" Josh asked and put a piece of bacon in his mouth, chewing to get that delicious smoked savory taste of its.

Mom nodded. "Your dad decided that since this year is the last year that your sister, Abigail, is gonna celebrate with us, we should celebrate big. Well, not really big, but with more people. Even though, your relatives are all out of town at the moment and can't come back in time, so he called Tyler's family, and they said yes. There'll be Mr and Mrs Joseph, and Tyler and his siblings, too. This is gonna be a memorable Christmas."

"Oh, yah," Josh sighed and looked down. His thoughts began to drift back to the name Tyler Joseph. He has not talked to him for several days, no phone calls, no text, no Facetime, nothing at all. He thought, Tyler needed some privacy, after that convenience store event that made Tyler a bit upset, enough for Josh to voluntarily walk him home before walking back to his own house, completely terrified. But he was still worried, especially Tyler's silence, he's been too silent to be normal, he even denied a Red Bull that Josh offered.

"What's wrong, Josh? You don't look happy?" His mom asked, concern drawn on her face.

"Nothing... I think," Josh answered. "I just thought..." Think of a lie, quick. "Me and Tyler are gonna have a great time."

|-/

Tyler sat next to Josh the whole time their families had dinned and opened gifts, he looked awful to the point of pityful. His hair was only starting to grow back in messy bunches. He wore an entire black attire this time, covering everything from neck to toes except for the tattoo on his left wrist. He looked paler than usual, and his eyes looked as if he hasn't slept in many days. And he kept his mouth shut the whole time, only gazing at Josh in silence, sometimes leaning against him or picking at his hand tenderly. Josh could almost understand what Tyler needed, it's just that he can't get it done in front of their families.

It was time that Josh opens his gift, he received it from Chris Joseph - Tyler's dad, kind of surprised by the large-but-lightness of it and tore the wrapping. And he sat there unspeakable, when laying in his arms was a ukulele. It looked much like a guitar, but much lighter and smaller, and it had four nylon strings. The body of it, had the carving of a bird next to a flower, which was also the sound hole.

"Oh, Chris, thank you..." Josh gasped, holding the ukulele as if it was made of glass.

Chris laughed. "Oh, naw! Don't thank me! Tyler was the one who thought of the ukulele."

"Ty-"

But before Josh could have said anything at all, Tyler ran up the stairs. Josh was confused, staring unblinkingly at his family and Tyler's family, lips mouthing vowels but none were made into sounds.

"My, I'm so sorry," Tyler's mom - Kelly - sighed. "It's just, you know, Tyler's been upset lately. He's kind of mad at something, but he wouldn't tell. He's been going down the basement and-"

"Okay, enough," Chris chimed in. "It's the holiday, just let the boy have some quiet time for himself. He didn't even like crowds to begin with."

Josh nodded, his thumb gently strumming on the four strings. But he couldn't not be worried, constantly shifting his eyes towards the staircase.

|-/

"Tyler, you alright?" Josh asked as he opened the door to his room, seeing nothing else but pitch black. He turned on the lights, and could only stand in quiet when he saw his best friend sitting in the very corner of the room, arms wrapped around his knees and face buried into them. His shoulders were shaking, so slight that it might as well have been unnoticed, and he looked as if he was cryinng.

Josh went and sat beside him, one hand holding the ukulele. "Um, thanks for the gift."

Tyler sniffed, finally looking up at Josh. Both his eyes were red and swollen, his thick pretty lashes wet with droplets of water. His nose was kind of red, too, like he hasn't stopped crying since like, an hour ago. "You don't know how to play the ukulele, can't even play a trumpet properly without breaking it at least once." He laughed, but it came out as bitter as mecidine.

"Why you crying?" Josh asked.

Tyler looked somewhere else, inching away.

"Tyler, c'mon, did I make you mad?"

"Nah, I just..." Tyler said, almost inaudibly. "I dunno, I just... Blurryface's been messing around, that's it."

Josh nodded. "What did he say?"

Tyler was quiet for a moment, before he said: "I shouldn't be alive. My siblings think I'm useless and annoying, and my friends at group therapy and my therapist, too."

"Ty, you know that's not true." Josh said. "No one hates you, they like you, they love you. Ty, your mom always said that you're her favorite kid. And don't ever think that you shouldn't be alive. If you die... who am I gonna stay alive with...?" Then he went silent, when Tyler rested his head on his shoulder. "Forget what Blurry says, it's not as important as you."

Tyler chuckled, wiping away his tears. He took the ukulele. "I've been writing this song. Don't know if my mom eavesdropped on it but..." And he began to play it, very gently but also emotionally aggressive:

"You will never know what's behind my skull
So won't you say goodnight, so I can say goodbye
You will never know what's under my hair
So won't you say goodnight, so I can say goodbye
You will never know what's under my skin
So won't you say goodnight, so I can say goodbye
You will never know what is in my veins
So won't you say goodnight, so I can say goodbye."

Tyler hesitated, but continued anyways:

"I start to part two halves of my heart in the dark and I
Don't know where I should go and the tears and fears begin to multiply
Taking time at a simple place where my head rest on a pillowcase
And it's said that a war's led but I forget that I let another day go by
I wanna be afraid but it seems that these days
I'm caught underwater and I'm falling farther
My heart's getting harder, I'm calling my father
Am I screaming to an empty sky?
Empty sky, no way, that's me, 'cause one half of my heart is free
Empty sky, no way, that's me, 'cause the other half of my heart's asleep."