The Important Things in Life [Essay]

The Important Things in Life

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be - a roommate, a neighbor, a professor, a friend, a lover, or even a complete stranger - but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are sometimes the most important ones.

If someone loves you, give love back to them in whatever way you can, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and listen to what they have to say.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make anything you wish of your life. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

And if you love someone tell them, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words [Essay]

Actions Speak

Louder Than Words

by Tracie Ann Robinson

I had a man tell me that the problem women have is that we get more hung up on a man's words than we do their actions. He meant that we don't always see if a man walks his talk. We get all caught up in the words, and ignore the value of his actions.

How many of us get snowballed by what a man says to us? All those sweet nothings he whispers, the perfect comment at the perfect moment, and the feelings those words give us. But how many of us actually put more weight or at least equal weight on what they display for actions? I'd venture to say not many of us.

And why do we do that? That is the real question. Perhaps some of us just get so caught up in the fact that a man is merely talking to begin with. And even more so the fact that they are talking to us. How many of us walk around life starving from lack of conversation, stimulating conversation, with a man?

When we first meet someone we are intrigued by what makes them click - how they view life. We compare interests and goals. We even analyze whether or not we can see ourselves sharing our life with them. Let's face it - as women we crave conversation. The saying that we never run out of something to talk about is accurate. We always have something to say and want someone to listen.

So why don't we look at a man's actions? Probably because very few actions mirror the words we hear. We like the way their words make us feel. And only after the relationship is over do we realize that we were fools in taking only what they said to us. Does that make us terrible people? No, but it sure does make us feel like a fool at times.

Another man told me the secret - men know what women want to hear so they tell us, in order for them to get what it is they want. I don't know if it's that calculated, but it would make some sense, even if it's instinctual.

If we were to start judging a man by his words and actions, what would be the outcome? For me, the outcome would be sweet. I wouldn't feel disappointed or used, less naïve, and more respected. I can say that every time I've valued only the words I heard was the times that I was let down.

And who let me down? Me - I am the one that rationalized why they never called me, or sent me flowers, or sent me love notes, or just plain put in as much effort as I did. I settled and that hurt me in the end.

So what have I done about it? Well it's still a practicing effort, but I don't just listen to what a man says. I look to see the connection in a man's actions. Are they putting as much of an effort into the relationship? Do I feel that they really feel what they say they are feeling? And to a fault, I am skeptical at best that they truly mean what they say. Our best ally is our gut feeling - and we are very guilty of ignoring it. When we ignore it we are destined to get hurt.

I've seen women that only give as much as they receive from a man, they never share more than what is shared with them, and they never let a man know how they truly feel. I am not suggesting that is the solution, but to a degree there is something to be said for it. Personally, I can't do that.

I know only one way to be - up front, open, and loving. To hold back makes me think I am robbing myself of the full experience of sharing with a man - it feels like betrayal. But the catch 22 is I am much more vulnerable to being hurt. As one of my friends says to me - you'll learn after you've been hurt a 100 times. Well I never claimed to be a quick learner - but a 100? I don't think one's heart can bear that much hurt.

Does Perfect Love Exist? [Essay]

Does Perfect Love Exist?

by Cynthia Legette Davis

Most of us long for relationships in which we are loved and accepted just the way we are. Our hearts' desire is to give and receive love in relationships that make us feel that even

if others disagree with what we do or say, they still love us. They accept us. They appreciate our contributions to the world. While it would be wonderful to have these types

of relationships with all people, we know that that's hard to do. We can, however, have them with some others, but only when we first have them with ourselves-and, ironically, this is often the hardest relationship of all.

One of the reasons many of us find it hard to love ourselves is because we do not realize that we are already loved in the most divine way. God loves us, totally and unconditionally.

It's hard for many of us to believe this fact because we know how imperfect we are, and we believe we have to be perfect before God will love us. The truth is that God's love makes us perfect, even with our imperfections. By knowing this truth intellectually and believing it spiritually, we not only love ourselves more; we love others more as well.

Do you love yourself? You may think you do, but do you really? There's only one way to find out-by taking a closer look at what you think, say, and do. You may not like some of what you find, but if you're serious about really loving yourself, you can use this insight to do some positive inner work.

Here are three ways I've found for gaining greater personal insight for deeper love.

Listen to your words and listen even more closely to your thoughts. Why? Because your words and your thoughts will determine your actions. One of the things that has helped me to listen to my thoughts has been to keep a journal. It is not necessary for you to write in it everyday, but it helps to record various insights you gain as you go about living your life. Instead of using a big notebook, you might use a small note pad that you can keep in your purse or pocket for easy access to record your thoughts as they occur to you. (I've found that if I don't immediately write down ideas and insights as they come, it's hard to remember them later, at least with the same degree of clarity.) Whichever method you choose, what's most important is that you write your thoughts down. It will help you know what's in your heart.

Be honest with yourself by paying attention to your actions. Actions speak louder than words, and they always tell the truth. What do your actions say about you? If you say you

love your job, but your actions say otherwise, which do you think is more true - your words or your actions? On the other hand, if you say you're not good at a certain job, but your

actions say otherwise, that's also important. What do you do with this insight? You can use it to make more beneficial choices in your life. By being honest with yourself based on your previous actions, your actions moving forward will be based on truth instead of just what you tell yourself.

Take time out during the day for quiet time to listen to your inner voice. I call this inner voice the voice of God. This is similar to point number one, but it takes it a step further - beyond the natural mind to the supernatural heart. You may want to use your quiet time to meditate or pray. However you use this time, the key is to shut out all of the noise around you by focusing deep within yourself. Breathing deeply during quiet time will also help you focus. I know it's hard to find quiet time during a particularly busy day, but it's so important - even if it's just 10 minutes a day and you have to sneak away to get it. Quiet time can really make a difference in your life. It enables you to hear God speaking to your heart reminding you of His perfect love for you.

Despite what your subconscious may be telling you, you can have love with no limits. The key is to unconditionally love yourself first.